Hey girl’s gotta work right? It’s not like the bank account under the name Lindsay Lohan is getting any bigger since she has to pay for legal fees up the ying yang. Shawn Holley Chapman, the fantastic looking attorney that was on the legal team that got OJ Simpson free from a murder he committed, has been representing Lindsay Lohan for her past and ongoing criminal activity. And whoever happens to be Shawn’s wardrobe designer certainly doesn’t shop at Target.
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Now Lindsay’s back in a big way. On the cover of Playboy Magazine where that image has been leaked all over the internet. And of course we have that image. Why not! We picked on Lindsay Lohan big time on this blog. So now that’s she’s back to work doing really important things like bearing all on America’s top skin showing magazine, we have to welcome her back to RealTVCritics.com.
Welcome back girl! It’s good to see you, um, uh I mean good to see a little part of you on the cover of Playboy Magazine.
Seems Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky might need to make a call to Dr. Phil. Whatever the VH1 show is doing certainly does not fall under successful therapeutic intervention because most of the so-called celebrities who appear on the show get arrested while some even end up meeting Saint Peter.
Jeremy London
Now comes former Party of Five actor Jeremy London who spent time with Dr. Drew and is in the same legal position Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael. London is in the wind being sought by authorities in Palms Springs, California for beating up his unidentified girlfriend. Although London’s lawyer says the assault did not take place, police in the resort city says an argument ensued over the couple’s custody arrangement over their child.
Jeremy London allegedly assaulted the woman outside her home in Palm Springs where cops say she suffered minor injuries.
Every time I want to start my “Free Lindsay Lohan” demonstrations in an attempt to get the same exposure as the Occupy Wall Street protests, they let her out on bail. I can’t even get the signs painted before she’s out on bail.
Well I haven’t written a story about Lindsay Lohan in over a month. I’m almost at that time point with our other popular target Charlie Sheen so maybe he will do something stupid soon so we can get this blog back on track.
WINNING!!!!
Well let me get back to the oft troubled Lindsay Lohan. Seems community service didn’t pan out well for her as she was kicked out of the women’s facility where she was to perform her duties. Guess speaking to homeless or abused women was not in her plans for the 300 plus hours she was supposed to serve.
Los Angeles prosecutors were licking their chops after Lindsay was set free from her duties. Or should we say prosecutors were like a bunch of fat kids sitting in front of a double chocolate covered cake. They asked the judge to revoke her probation and throw her back in prison.
LOSING!!!!!
Lindsay was taken in to custody this morning as the no nonsense judge was having none of her usual horse crap putting her behind bars.
But not so fast! Lindsay Lohan posted bail at the $100,000 level shortly after being handcuffed in her Vera Wang dress and taken back to be booked and mug shot again. We stopped using Lindsay Lohan mugshots because, well we get confused as to which one is for which arrest. So we make her look good by using this photo, which is a real good shot of Lindsay Lohan. Not looking like a Jerry Springer guest, that awful make-up job she did on herself for yesterday’s court appearance.
Note to Lindsay…never do your own make-up…ever again!
Probation was given to Lindsay after she ripped off a necklace from a jewelry store in Santa Monica, California. Today she was supposed to start a new round of community service, this time at the L.A. County Coroner’s office. Maybe, just maybe, she will regret not showing up at that women’s center. Hmmmm…live women, dead bodies? You pick!
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Well the top name on this list even surprised me. She’s one of the hottest brands on TV, has the biggest name in searches for Google or Yahoo and everyone wants to be like Kim. Yes Kim Kardashian has been voted the world’s “Most Annoying Celebrity.”
What does she win? OK what does she need, yes just about nothing.
Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian
Parade Magazine has named the reality personality (again I now call reality TV people “personalities” since calling them stars is one of America’s biggest shams) Number 1 on the list tracking 29% of the polling. And there are several other names that fit so perfectly on the list. Number 2 on the list is the outrageous Charlie Sheen pulling in 27% of the respondents voting.
Charlie Sheen with WBZ-FM's 'Toucher and Rich'
Who is Number 3? Snooki Polizzi of the MTV show Jersey Shore. Yes, that woman is annoying. Oh, by the way, so is Charlie Sheen, annoying that is. I’m still a bit closed on where I stand with Kim.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
Oh yeah, back to the list. Number 4…Lindsay Lohan. Totaling annoying. 100%. She would have been at the top of my list.
Lindsay Lohan
Filling out the list at Number 5 is Donald Trump which he probably would have been in my top 1 or 2 as well.
Rick Thomas
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I didn’t watch Today on NBC this morning to see who was sitting next to the really trying hard to make this co-hosting thing work after Meredith Vieira bolted for pasture newly named Ann Curry.
There’s something about Ann that I just don’t get yet. A bit of overcompensation during her presentation and surely during her interviews that just feels uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching too much Meredith over the year. Although Ann did do a great job on her Jon Huntsman. That question about his family’s company shipping jobs out of America that gave the candidate a deer in the headlights look that so ended his Presidential bid.
Wrap it up dude, bring on Mitt.
Lindsay Lohan
So Lester Holt did the thing next to Ann yesterday and mentioned that Matt Lauer was on assignment only to find out that he was bathing in the sun and shine of Venice, California working on an interview with the Queen of Superior Court Lindsay Lohan. Matt, who seems to tick off Mom Dina every once in a while during an interview, got the exclusive sit down with the still free Lindsay Lohan. Still free because she did not violate her parole with an alcoholic drink. Run back in to court this morning on that possible violation, the judge determined that she was OK to go home and not bunk with Bertha in cell block G.
But Matt Lauer got burned. Or did Lauer burn Lindsay?
Seems Lindsay, who probably is paying former OJ Simpson legal teammate Shawn Chapman Holley in IOU’s, wanted $100,000 for the exclusive. Which apparently NBC refused. So Matt’s assignment was in peril. Though another report says that Matt wanted an extensive interview with Lindsay who said to Matt that she would only give him 15 minutes. The Today Show said no. I mean how would NBC’s top rated morning show promote a short 15 minute interview? This sit down would have extended over a full week and 15 minutes just won’t do it for that show.
So a 3,000 mile trip, an over-rated, self centered, egotistical actress and a highly paid morning show host couldn’t come together on either price or length of interview.
What a mess, and as always, we do mean Lindsay.
Rick Thomas
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Charlie Sheen is the new Dr. Phil. Yes, we’re speaking of the Charlie Sheen, star of the CBS show ‘Two and a Half Men,’ currently in the recycled bin since the actor’s recent binge. Now she’s giving advice to Lindsay Lohan.
Oh this is going to be good.
Last week Sheen gave some really good advice to the UCLA baseball team. “Stay away from crack,” Sheen told the players he practiced with and spoke to them during his session with the group.
OK that’s good advice.
Unfortunately Sheen didn’t shut up. He continues “if you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can.”
Somebody get me my medication.
Now he’s back on Dan Patrick’s show again. This time doing a consult for Lindsay Lohan. “Work on your impulse control,” he says of Lohan.
Dr. Sheen continues, “just try to think things through a little bit before you do them.”
OK I am not making this up.
Meanwhile the producers of the show have said they will totally cancel ‘Two and a Half Men’ if Charlie Sheen doesn’t straighten up his own act off the set. According to TMZ, if it comes to finalizing the show, producers will not recast Charlie’s roll and put the future of ‘Two and a Half Men’ to rest.
Rick Thomas
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Well the press has been all over this one today. Lindsay Lohan got drilled by the judge and told directly that if she screws up again she will be remanded to county jail. That means Lindsay heads up to Lynwood to spend time with Shaquita and her girlfriends.
Um Shaquita is not someone that Lindsay wants to meet.
Ali, Lindsay and Dina Lohan
Hey Lindsay, do you like girls? No! You’re gonna like girls if you end up at Lynwood so we suggest you chill. But it was pretty chilling from the judge today. “Don’t push your luck,” which is what Lindsay has been leaning on for the last year or so.
One more screw-up and Lindsay’s gone. But she still could go away after blowing probation so she could head back to court to face that charge.
“Things will be different.” the judge told Lindsay.
Then there’s Chuck. Charlie Sheen is in his home based rehab program but has told all that he will cover 1/3 of the salaries of the crew on CBS TV’s ‘Two and a Half Men.’ But only if CBS and Warner Brothers, the show’s producer, picks up the other 2/3′s of those salaries. Charlie is upset that both entities have not offered to pay their portion.
Hey Charlie. You’re the one with a kilo of cocaine at your crib. You pay the salaries, pal.
Chuck wants to return to the show next week but CBS is balking at that timetable. Probably because when you have a rock of blow in your apartment, a couple of week’s of home schooled rehab, well consider a full recovery quite unlikely.
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Yes Lindsay Lohan is the most over-exposed entertainer known more for her court appearances than whatever movies or TV shows she’s been seen on in her short career.
One thing you can say about Charlie Sheen. At least he’s got talent with a hit show on CBS. Lindsay Lohan? I think we write these stories because Lindsay Lohan is an up and coming train wreck.
Susan Filan, MSNBC Legal Analyst
Susan Filan is the legal expert on MSNBC and you can catch her overview about Lindsay’s new troubles this morning at 11AM Eastern/8AM Pacific time. We chatted last night about where Lindsay’s freedom stands after tomorrow.
“She’s on a very, very short leash,” Filan says now that Lindsay’s probation has been violated after her alleged theft of a necklace. When on probation, Lindsay was not permitted to do anything wrong. “No dirty urine, no violation of probation, no driving without a license and no new arrests,” says Filan.
Lohan will be arraigned and needs to post bail to be released. But “just the felony/larceny charge” will be the only issue she faces tomorrow according to Filan. “She’s in trouble and it’s inevitable that she will face the judge on the probation violation,” but when is still to be determined by authorities.
Now Lindsay’s back in a big way. On the cover of Playboy Magazine where that image has been leaked all over the internet. And of course we have that image. Why not! We picked on Lindsay Lohan big time on this blog. So now that’s she’s back to work doing really important things like bearing all on America’s top skin showing magazine, we have to welcome her back to RealTVCritics.com.
Unfortunately Sheen didn’t shut up. He continues “if you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can.”
